You Can Choose Your Attitude While Dying
How the attitude in your heart and mind paves the way for either a peaceful or angry death.
I am writing this at 5 am. I had a long discussion with my sister about our older sister, who is 84. She is not dying, but is one of the angriest people that I know of. Nothing you do is not meant with criticism. No matter what good happens, she only sees the negative in her life. She is at a point where her time could be right around the corner or any time. There are choices we do have the ability to control, and one of them is our attitude about life and dying. I have personally seen a few people die in my lifetime. I have seen peaceful deaths and horrible ones where they fight all the way to the end. What is the difference?
Your angry nature is not a positive for overcoming cancer or having a peaceful death. Anger, hatred, whether it be self-hatred or hatred toward others, is one of the factors in cancer and disease. All these negative emotions disrupt the ability of your body to heal and respond to treatment. It is part of the reason you may be sick as I write this.
No one knows how long they are going to live. It may be only a few days or it may be years. You can go out the door tomorrow and get hit by a Mack truck. How will people remember you? What stories will they tell about you? It is up to us individually how we live our lives and the decisions we make. In tough life circumstances, are you an inspiration to others or just angry? If you are an angry person, you'd better start getting rid of the anger while you're alive. I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but I personally don’t want to spend my afterlife angry.
We do have choices. Unforgiveness is part of anger. I have been through the pain of having a father who could not be trusted and two exes who were abusive physically and mentally. It is one of the most difficult things to do….to forgive them. It took years in the case of my ex.
It comes down to this point. …your anger is not hurting them in most cases, but is hurting your ability to be happy and have peace. It is often a part of why you got cancer and why you may not respond to treatment. There are exceptions to this. With Covid shots, people are getting cancer, turbo cancers, and it is the shots they got. It may be your time is finished on this part of your journey.
You still have control over your attitude while dying. I personally want to make it as easy on my family as I can. I want them to feel my love and that I will be ok. When my mom was dying, my sister could not say the words to help her die peacefully. I was in another state, and when I had my last words with her by phone, it was Mom, we will be ok. It is ok to let go. We love you. When my husband’s father died, I told him it was ok to leave, that we would be ok. Often, people hang on because of those they love. Give your loved one who is dying the peace to go on to the next step in their journey.
Talk to your loved one about their feelings as they are dying.
Let them discuss the issues weighing on their mind.
Help your dying loved one to forgive family members and to reconnect in some cases. Often, people get in fights and then years later they can’t even remember why. Do you have someone in your life that you need to reconnect with? Are you estranged from your kids or family, but keep putting off that phone call? Was the reason you are estranged your fault, your words of anger misplaced? If you let it go. If you never make that phone call, you may regret it for the rest of your life.
Help them to forgive themselves if they made mistakes in their life.
Give them your forgiveness if they are trying to make it right.
In the subject of beating cancer, it has to be discussed that we may not survive the cancer journey. If you don’t, how will you be remembered? What is the legacy you leave those you love? How do you want to spend your afterlife? In anger or in peace, it's up to you.
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The Cancer Cure Catalog series is a comprehensive collection of four volumes dedicated to exploring natural, alternative, and complementary therapies in the fight against cancer. Each volume provides in-depth guidance on various healing methods, offering patients and caregivers practical tools for enhancing cancer treatment and recovery.
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