6 New Year Resolutions to Turn Our Marriages and Families Around!
In making New Years Resolutions, let's work on our important relationships first in 2026
It is almost 2026 in 2 days. Instead of New Year's resolutions such as losing 25 pounds that are started on Jan 1st and given up by the 10th of Jan, let's work on improving our marriages and the relationships we have with our children and grandchildren for the future. Let’s work on improving the relationship with our neighbors! I am going to throw in several that will encourage us to be better people overall.
#1: Put down the phone and computers and work to really listen to your spouse and children when they are trying to talk to you. Give those people you love your full attention. Don’t just half listen, listen with your heart. Make them feel seen and heard. What have you been missing while Are you addicted to scrolling? Are your children? Think about this! What are you missing?
#2: Spend time with your kids playing ball, going for a walk, taking them on a hike, and get all of you moving outside. Do not turn on your phones! Get completely involved in the adventure. Make memories. Give them that special time that they will remember, even if it’s only playing ball with them. As you are spending time with your family, don’t do it begrudgingly with a have-to-do attitude! Do it with love in your heart and know your kids will know the difference. Your spouse will know the difference as well!
#3: Examine your fights with your children and spouse? It is estimated that the majority of misunderstandings and fights occur because of the tone of voice you use. It is the inflection in every word we speak to them. An example is a simple yes, which can show enthusiasm, anger, resentment, and resignation by your tone.
Your voice and how you answer your loved ones tells so much: annoyance, anger, agitation, boredom, impatience, frustration, and disapproval! What if we took a second to change that tone to one of patience, love, acceptance, and approval? Patience for when our spouse, after 20 years, still doesn’t remember where the dish towels are kept, patience when our children forget to do something, and patience and love with all those annoying things that kids and spouses do every day. Is it really worth getting as upset as we do? Would it matter in 5 years or even one month from now? Is it really important, or is it just one of those things we have intolerance to? Is our impatience justified? Even if it is, is it worth compromising the peace in our house?
#4: Instead of verbally complaining, let's try to find something to be thankful for. Let’s start every day by thanking God for our spouse, kids, and family. Let’s thank God we have a roof over our head, heat, food in our cupboard, clothes, and our job, no matter how irritating it is, and our health. So when we go to open our mouths to complain, replace them with gratitude. Try it and see how many of our outgoing words are negative and complaining. Replace the complaint with a compliment or with something positive. I challenge all of you to do this! Do this until it becomes a habit, which is about 60 days.
#5: Stop the complaining in your head!
We often spend too many thoughts complaining in our minds! Why did he or she do that? Why do I have to do all the housework? Why did he or she have to buy that? He or she is so irritating! Why won’t he mow? Why does she spend so much time doing this? Much of our thoughts each day are negative about our loved ones and or ourselves. We beat ourselves up daily with why we didn’t achieve this or why we forget to do that. Am I a good enough mom? I am not good enough? We look in the mirror and see the wrinkles, blemishes, and that we need to lose weight.
Replace each silent complaint about your husband or wife with one of two things you appreciate that they do. Stop those negative and destructive thoughts! This applies to you as well! Don’t let them fester in your head or heart! The more you feed them, the more importance they gain! As human beings, we tend to criticize rather than speak the positive uplifting thoughts!
#6: Do one thing each week for your husband or wife, such as go fishing,
Watch a movie or game, your loved one wants to watch, that you normally wouldn’t do with them. Check your attitude while you do it.
Help with a chore you usually don’t help with!
Suggest an activity that your children or spouse wants to do, that would make them happy!
Put their wants and needs ahead of your own and give them your undivided attention!
Why did I only suggest 6 resolutions above, because these changes are hard and very difficult! It involves changing the way you think and react. These changes are extremely important for the overall happiness in your family and in your relationships. You are going to fail at times, but keep working on it one thought and one conversation at a time. Step by small step, you can increase the love and the quality of your relationships with these steps above. Start today! Don’t wait until Jan 1st, and don’t give up because you have a bad day!